Are you a leader or a follower? The question sounds simple. But what if the question itself is flawed?
A Leader or a Follower: The Binary Mindset
The other day, a colleague told me something strange yet interesting. He said:
“There are only two ways to live—either dominate others or become a victim.”
According to him, life is a battlefield. You’re either the one in charge, or the one getting crushed. You must either lead everyone or be led forever.
I found it funny at first. Then I asked him, “Why do you need to dominate or be a victim? Can’t there be something in between?”
His view is common. Many of us grow up believing that power is the only protection, and that anyone who is not giving orders must be taking them. But this way of thinking leaves little room for trust, cooperation, or learning from one another.
The Middle Path Between Leading and Following
Life is rarely black and white. You’re not always the leader. You’re not always the follower. Most of the time, you shift roles. I see this every week with the Dhaka Symphony Orchestra: the conductor leads, but every musician also has to listen and follow.
- When you’re learning something new—you follow.
- When you’re confident and experienced—you lead.
This middle state is often the most peaceful and powerful space to live in. You don’t burn out from always being in control. And you don’t lose your identity by always taking orders. Researchers even have a name for the skill of following well: followership.
Leadership Is a Skill, Not a Status
We need to let go of the pressure to always “be the leader.” Here’s what I believe:
- Leadership is a skill, not a status.
- Following with awareness is strength, not weakness.
- Flexibility is more useful than a fixed identity.
So next time someone asks, “Are you a leader or a follower?” — maybe just smile and say:
“Depends on the day. I know how to do both.”